(sic) so; thus: usually written parenthetically to denote that a word, phrase, passage, etc., that may appear strange or incorrect has been written intentionally or has been quoted verbatim
The musings of 6 sisters, each with a counterpart 10 years her junior or senior.
sicsister73 sicsister83
sicsister75 sicsister85
sicsister78 sicsister88
7/8/09
83:
So. I know that everybody poops. This fact does not lessen the grotesqueness of evacuating stinky brown goop from ones arsehole. Crapping is a large part of life. We humans have come up with many medications to aid in the dumping process. Yogurt, high fiber cereals, even powders one can sprinkle on food without adding a nasty flavor. All to help exercise those demons. When dropping the kids off at the pool, one usually prefers a modicum of privacy. This is easily done in the comfort of ones own bathroom, at ones own home. Sometimes, however, this is not possible. Sometimes, even in the middle of the workday, one must find relief. Most of the time, I am able to control my assious emitions, at least when in public. If I am relaxing at home, more often than not trying unsuccessfully to relax on the rack, I let the air breeze free. Every once in a while though, which is becoming more frequent with age, as the bowels lose some of their previously unthought of elasticity, I am just unable to stop the dam walls from bursting apart. As my fave line from a little seen bad movie, "Never to Fart" is not possible in my realm. This free poopy time that my body has entered upon, must surely come to an end. I don't enjoy going to the "restroom" at all. It's a waste of time, and not really very restful. Pooping in public happens. But when it sneaks up on you and you don't know about it til the odor starts wafting up from the bowl, it is just nasty. Now I really do hope those 3 words from John Krasinski & Mandy Moore's nuptial movie fail will make an appearance in my life. Because lately, a seemingly innocent fart, could very well be so much more. I'm kind of afraid to go to the bathroom. Afraid of what might fall out of me next.
7/1/09
83:
So. Mr. Landlord decided it was time to retire old glory hole here. This fine piece of yellow porcelain has had more than its share of ass over the years. I myself have enjoyed many a fine time in its company. As many of you know, it is difficult for me to embrace new things sometimes. I've tried the new toilet, and...it will take much getting used to. Thrones just aren't made like this baby over here anymore. Strong, heavy, powerful, yellow. I get that the young ones now use less water and are better for the environment. Our new one even has one of those seats that lowers itself...very...s.l.o.w.l.y. I'm good with all that. It's just that I've rejoiced in the comfort of the old school large seat and super flush. Now, it's so dainty. When I sit down with a magazine to do some work, I really just want to shit and get off the pot. It's so...flimsy. The new plastic is just not as resilient. I'll get used to it. With time, and a few sit downs. So. Goodbye old Friend.
6/30/09
85:
Whoa. I totally have a tale to tell.
So I'm in DC awaiting the arrival of the rest of you for our pretty great reunion. Staying at the Parents' house has been a mixed bag, but one benefit has been the evening spent with Aunt and Uncle from out West. Uncle had some sort of educator's conference in DC (maybe Aunt was part of it too, I didn't pay attention to that part) and they had Monday night free so came out to the suburbs for dinner. It was pretty wonderful. I haven't spent any real amount of time with Aunt, let alone Uncle. I feel I've been missing out.
Anyway.
About 9:00, we decided it would be best to have 88 and me drive them back to their hotel in the city (they had done the shuttle shuffle out to the airport and I picked them up from there). It was absurd to make them sit through at least 90 minutes of transferring and junk when we were able and willing to do the drive. Well, we finally got out of the house shortly after 11. No big surprise there when we have Dad (and the rest of us too) talking to the sister he sees maybe once in a year. I had some issues with dinner earlier in the evening, so was feeling iffy about the drive ahead but I had already committed. Let me just say right now: major mistake to not pee out the 20+ ounces of water I had in the hour prior to leaving.
We got into the city and to the hotel with minimal delays. I should have asked to use the restroom right then, but I was too eager to get back home. It was just about midnight and I was tired. Like, really tired.
88 took over driving duties from there. Thanks be.
By the time we were on Constitution Ave and headed for I-66 I was in a fairly bad way.
"Take the Route 50 exit. I have to find a bathroom. My bladder is trying to kill me."
So 88 takes the specified exit and away we go to find a toilet on the local roads. It didn't happen.
We tried two different McDonald's (one of which stated that the lobby was open until 1am, but was locked up tight at 12:42am - with an employee blatantly ignoring the noise made by my attempts to force the door open), a Seven-11, two gas stations, and a 24-hour CVS (bastard man:"We have restrooms, but they're closed now.").
At this point I said eff it all. Get on the toll-way and get home as quick as possible.
On the entrance ramp to the toll-way I knew this newest plan was not meant to be. I quite rudely demanded that 88 take the first exit and turn the radio off or at least down, because the limited bass from the very soft music was seriously interfering with my ability to keep her car seat dry.
So 88 took the first exit, patiently tolerating my harsh words and gestures that she wasn't moving nearly fast enough. The left turn took us into a kind of corporate hell. Only high rise business offices. The U-turn took us into a residential neighborhood. Lights and houses lining the street.
"Find me somewhere with really bad lighting!!!!"
88 managed to ignore all of my screamed instructions and find a perfect spot. I jumped out of the car, paused long enough to catch the TP she threw at me, and disappeared into the "woods".
One leg completely removed from the jeans, admirable squatting position, and bladder relief begun. Accomplished within 5 seconds of leaving the car.
So yes. I peed just outside somebody's yard at 1am in a fairly well-to-do neighborhood in Northern Virginia. And I loved it.
6/25/09
78:
In LALAland finishing up a job. We shoot a little marketing piece tomorrow and it's always fun to be back on a set. Went to a comedy show at Club Nokia downtown of the Comedians from Chelsea Lately. It was pretty funny. Or at least, three of the comedians were. This girl, Jen Kirkman, is a riot live.
Can't wait to see everyone!
6/24/09
83:
So. For a few months now I have been cataloging the demise of one annoying little orange car. This car has an...interesting sound. The engine labors very much as the "driver" likes to remotely turn it on at all hours of the night. You know, just to keep it warm. Anyway, it's really fucking annoying. Things have not been going well for the little orange beast the past while. Each time I have passed over the last few weeks, it has had another dent, scratch, or missing/smashed part. The entire new front end is quite a nice touch. Then, one nice, quiet evening I spotted this newer little red car. On closer examination (since I have followed in Dad's footsteps on the spying front) I leered at the license plate. It was eerily familiar. And I haven't driven in the city for about 4 years. I shouldn't recognize any plates. Alas, the little formerly orange beast was parked just across the street, sans plates. This new little red car is going to be noisy. I thought when you got a new car you were supposed to get new licensing. No? I can't really think of anyone who would just swap license plates. Other than bank robbers.
6/23/09
85:
88 is with me in JAX still. Poor girl. She gets left at the house all day. And when I do get home, the only thing we'll do is maybe go out into the water for about an hour. No more eating out, no socializing. She must be bored off her ass.
We'll leave for Mom & Dad's on Friday after work. Got the brakes fixed, so my car's white trash points have gone down to a comfortable level now. Also, we'll be safe on the 700+ mile trip.
Can't wait to see you all!!!!
6/21/09
73:
We'll call her Janey. She's perfect and tiny and cute and easy-going. I know that it may be early, but we think that she's starting to smile a little. (Even if it IS gas, its beautiful.) She's still little enough to easily hold in one hand. She went shopping with me yesterday at one of the big markets and it was the first time that NO Chinese people yelled at me for having her out too early since she is now one month old. I was pleased that only one Chinese grandma yelled at me when I took her to IKEA at about 2.5 weeks old. "Chinese people CAN'T go out before 30 days!!" they're always spouting. Then, presumably, something about how dangerously unhealthy it is to have the child out so early. We just smile and say "Americans can." Yesterday was nice, since once they were assured that the baby was, in fact, of going-out-of-the-house-age they just oohed and ahhed and yelled at their friends to take a look. Its all a little bit celebrity and fun (since we know that our celebrity isn't going to last long), but it does make getting through the market (or grocery store, or park, or wherever you are) a little slow and tough. I try to smile and be polite and I really just am loving that they all agree that my child is so perfect and adorable. I'm happy to have made their day better --- who's day WOULDN'T be better for a peek at Janey?
6/18/09
78:
BORING.
BRILLIANT.
BORING.
6/17/09
83:
So. I was in Jackson Hole recently and felt like being one with nature. In a clean, chlorinated way.
This little dude thought I was trespassing. He promptly hung his tiny ass over the edge and shat. Into the pool.
6/17/09
85:
I've been super uber lame for the last few weeks. Whatever.
88 arrived in JAX this evening. I spent the last few days in a very relaxed state of anticipation. Only today did my body start to do that shaking thing. It really was no different, but I felt like I could hardly drink a glass of water for the danger of spilling it or losing control of my bladder. Anyway, we got back to my place and hit the beach almost immediately. So far, so good. And BBQ chicken pizza from the neighborhood pie place will make a wonderful dinner!
6/14/09
73:
Ichibod makes me happy. I was snuggling him the other day and his head was in a perfect little resting spot on my chest while he fell asleep. I could see through his sparse hair and he was letting me rub behind his ear as he fall asnooze. I love how he moves his arms and toes and everything. It cracks me up to see him run across a room. He's funny and smart. I'm so glad that I've got tome with him.
6/11/09
78:
SHAZAAAM! YOU'RE FABULOUS!
6/4/09
78:
YOU. ARE. WELCOME.
6/2/09
85:
Just FYI - I'm totally down with corporate sponsorship. That is, if it gives perks. I wouldn't mind access to free lunches.... I'm talking to you Panera..... I'll await your call.
5/28/09
78:
OHMYBOB! This lady cracks me up to no end!
Enjoy! Particularly the part about when she works out.
5/27/09
83:
So. I concur with 85 when it comes to having guests finish their visit. It's great to have friends come and stay, but when they pack up and leave, one can get the bowels back on track.
In this same vein; I awoke this a.m., not from the sun shining in my window. Nor from the garbage trucks speeding up the street. Nor from the hammering of the carpenters pounding one out next door. Nor from the yelling construction workers to the other side. None of these lovely morning sounds were my alarm this morning. It was my ass.
The stench wafting from the downstairs sphincter was not of this world. It was a mix of a good many types of diarrhea, strained baby foods, and weeks old stinky cheeses. Pretty much the exact odor of their "food" downstairs. Sometimes I'm afraid that this type of scent will follow me around all through the day.
When I arrived back home and dropped my days trappings off, I opened the window and was assailed by this morning's ass-ious gas-ious-ness.
It wasn't me.
(But it usually is.)
5/26/09
85:
First off, happy birthday to Dad. Dude is getting on in years.
This past weekend, Memorial Day weekend, I had some guests at the beach. Two of my buddies from college flew down to visit. One is this guy I've sort of been hung up on for a few years. I can't tell if he is uncomfortable around just me, or most everyone he is around. Or perhaps I'm just projecting. He's very quiet. And pretty sarcastic. And just plain handsome, which doesn't help me feel all that comfortable. Anyway, it was a pretty good few days. The weather was stellar, and sort of laughed in the face of the forecasted thunderstorms that were supposedly settling in for the whole weekend. Lots of sun. A bit of rain, but not at all inconvenient. We hit the beach for many, many hours. I got crushed by a wave, landed on my head, and have a pretty decent shiner and a big 'ol scrape on my forehead. Not the mention the silver dollar size ocean floor-roadrash scrape on my left shoulder that prevents me from effectively moving my arm above the shoulder. Also got some spots of sunburn on my feet and shins that make stretching mildly painful. We ate at most of the restaurants down the street. I was heartily pleased with my town. The guys seemed to be impressed by the quality of food, and mentioned with a touch of disbelief that they didn't have a single meal that was less than great. We headed downtown on Saturday afternoon to hang out at the Jacksonville Jazz Festival for a few hours. It was the first time I had gone downtown since just after I moved here. We were at The Jacksonville Landing, a place everybody here knows about. It is right on the river and was pretty cool. I'll be sure to make it a stop for your next visit.
Anyway, the guys flew back to DC Monday afternoon and I had the house to myself again. As much fun as I had with them, it was stupendous to have my own space back to myself alone. Non-family dude visitors is nothing like having the sisters visit.
88
5/22/09
I want more pictures of the babe! MORE MORE MORE!
I am very very busy and I can't stand my roommate.
Living with her has really taught me to control myself and I've gained a bit of tolerance....but not too much. I still think....KNOW....she's and idiot.
Won't Draino the sink because it "wasn't [her] fault". Well, it wasn't MY fault either but I'll bit the bullet and clean everyone's rotting garbage out of the sink and Draino the damn thing. GOSH!
Packing, packing, and more packing. That is my life as of now. Leaving in 8 days.
5/20/09
83:
It just keeps getting better.
5/19/09
85:
73, I think this baby may have more hair than yours will.
But that's not the point. The point is YOU ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!!
I'm going to speak for everyone and say just how stoked we are and how interminable the coming day will be while we wait for the good news!
Lots of love and all our thoughts to you!
Oh, and Happy Belated Birthday wishes to 78.
Sorry for being totally lame about it.
5/14/09
78:
You're welcome.
5/12/09
85:
I recently rediscovered some pictures from my high school graduation party. A "casino night" at the fair grounds sponsored by the boosters, or some such group of involved parents. You won't be seeing them here, obviously. But the point is .... Damn. Tragic. All around. Not even just for myself (which, let me tell you, is not a pretty thought), but almost everyone. All sub-one-hundred graduates from our school. Maybe it's just because it was 2003 and I still had "The Glasses 2.0" and the same round, pale face highlighted by a tight blond ponytail. I'm tempted to share the pics with my fellow graduates, but only in severely masochistic moments. I think these photos will stay securely stowed in the plastic tub, away from even the most charitable eyes.
5/10/09
73:
I got to sleep in on Saturday morning. Didn't get up until 8:03!! I was surprised that it wasn't 10, as I was actually ready to start interacting with my people. Everyone had been quietly leaving me alone for Mother's Day....amazing how much more restful that final 15 minutes can be when the only person snuggling you is the one still in your belly. Also funny to think that sleeping in pre-children was 10 or 11...certainly not 8:00.
5/7/09
78:
"SCIENTISTIC"
I loves it, I do!
5/6/09
83:
The Braces Are Off!!!
5/5/09
85:
This morning I woke up because I had to pee. Really had to pee. Like so much that I couldn't stay in bed for another 45 minutes, like I usually try to do. So I was up and stumbling around at 7 o'clock today. Not so unusual for some people, and six months ago, not so unusual for me. But with my schedule change to 9am I'm not so much an "early" riser as I once claimed. Then again, you all know I've never had much excitement for getting out of bed at all, let alone before 8:15. Anyway. I found myself up at 7. What worthwhile sleep could I get in 45 minutes? More likely I'd spend a half-hour lazing, then fall into a deep nap and not wake until almost 9. That would be no good. So I decided to suck it up. Stay awake. Do something. I went for a bike ride. It was actually good. But also bad. Because I only did like 2 1/2 miles in 25 minutes. It was kind of pathetic. After I got back to the house I left the bike, removed my shoes and socks (first time I've worn either in a good few weeks) and walked down to the water to cool down. This was worth everything. Ah. Just gorgeous. Almost enough to make me re-examine my stance on the necessity of lie-ins.
4/30/09
78:
GRANDMA, my poop is coming! Oooops, there it went, on the side of the road. It'll get dressed up with a white line and blend in nicely.
4/29/09
83:
So. Everyone gets a little bit of panty up the ass sometimes. It's not a good feeling, butt we all have our own ways of wiggling, jiggling, or picking them out.
Often times, when coming up out of the subway, one must rise behind a good many peeps. Sometimes, the rear of another is right at eye level. And sometimes, the ass of the stranger is very hungry. The person should feel this, no?
It's very confusing. I believe it is perfectly within the rules of etiquette to pull the wedgie out. It is much less offensive than the hindquarter chewing with its mouth open.
4/28/09
85:
AWESOME!!! Be sure to check below for make-up posts from 78 and 83.
Anyway, no news from FL. The weather has been disgustingly fantastic. The work week decidedly boring. Thought I'd share a pic of Jesus descending from the heavens. Took this while on my way back from Miami a few weeks ago. I know you're jealous. Don't feel bad about it.
4/26/09
73:
Crazy, busy weekend.
Saturday -- Ultrasound with everyone attending. (3.5 weeks to go ... then probably more)
--Return the Wii (for the 3rd time!) to try to get it to work properly.
-- Spring Fair at Danny's school. This thing is HUGE!!!! We lost Thomas for about 30 minutes ... when I found him he told me what had happened ... cutest/most heartbreaking part was when he realized that he just couldn't find us so he went into a corner and faced the wall so that "no one would see [his] sad face."
--Get Mr. 73 to the airport -- he's gone until Monday night
--Write and practice Thomas' talk for Sunday.
--Baths --- uggh ("Okay, I'll take a bath ... but DON'T WASH MY HAIR!!!!!!" Yeah, right. Like I'm going to not wash their hair. Like I've EVER let them not wash their hair.
--Read and prepare my lesson for Sunday. (Women's meeting)
--All the other crap that goes along with any day.
Sunday -- Get all of us out the door by 8:00am. Usually Mr. 73 does all the getting dressed of little boys. Today it's just me. (see above)
--Get breakfast ready --- at least it just goes in the car...we NEVER have time to eat at home on Sunday mornings, but the boys all have their dishtowel, tray, and cereal/hot dog routine pretty well down. ... We ended up out the door somewhere between 8:15 and 8:30
--Talks and lesson went well.
-- Get through the rest of the day. ... Minimum 4 poopy diapers. Uggh!
--Get them to bed on time to wake up for school Monday morning. (Didn't happen ... 9:30pm is NOT early enough ... but we DID make the bus this morning. Hooray!!!!)
4/23/09
78:
Ken Lee is my new religion.
Praise.
4/22/09
83:
So. If you'll all think back. Back to the Future.
Part I will always be my #1. Parts II and III come in a close 2nd and 3rd.
On my way home the other night, I spotted a van much like the terrorists in Part I. I quickened my pace.
4/21/09
85:
I guess I should change the name of this blog. Or something. No matter that I claim to be a shameless self promoter, I'm actually not all that comfortable in the role. And it's now to the point that I kind of dread Tuesdays. Because I know I'll post something. And I know that something will, in all likelihood, not be in the company of any new bits from any of the other FIVE sisters who are supposedly part of this whole deal.
Whatever. I'm going to focus on work for the rest of the day. Since I'll probably be the only one to post next week, again, I'll see if I can come up with something a tad more entertaining than this passive-aggressive rant.
4/16/09
78:
In LA working for a few weeks. Staying in Malibu. This is the view out the patio window of where I am staying.
Fabulosity.
Wish you were all here to enjoy it!
4/15/09
83:
So. This car is up on blocks. Yes. Up on blocks. I have never before been privy to this type of vehicular rape. What this photo does not show is a fireman parking sticker in the front window. Bummer for that dude.
4/14/09
85:
Just signed up with Twitter. We'll see how long this keeps my attention. (Since I'm always seeking attention myself, I think it just might be a while.)
I actually love nannying. However, I am still in the wee beginning stages so I have yet to experience the shiz of the job. Update: I am moving to Pittsburgh from June-December '09. The years are coming and going so fast now that I've been out of the dungeons of high school for a few years. That dark prison seems like a sort of heaven now. The only cares I had then were stresses of assignments and busy-work.
I think BoyfriendS is close to the "shitting" part of "shit or get off the pot", which is very exciting. The thought of being with him forever is the most exhilarating, satisfying feeling I've felt. Not like anything before. I am confident that nothing will happen before I return from Pitt. In fact, we will probably wait until he's out of school for the preliminaries but if it were to happen before that the main event won't be until well after his graduation, which gives us just over a year from now.
Anyway, I'm excited for 75 and 83 to meet BoyfriendS and definitely for the parentals to meet him. I don't know what was said without me in hearing distance but I think 85 and 78 liked him pretty well....I hope because I'm thinkin' he's here to stay. (best friend, truly, great with kids, plan for family, ambition in his chosen work area and much more than I could write in text). Well, that's all the mush from me tonight. Off to bed. No work this week as family is on week long trip but normal school. ...yay.
4/8/09
83:
So. I'm done being a nanny. I'm done taking care of other people's kids. Actually, I want to be done being a nanny. I want to be done taking care of other people's kids. I've still got one more year of it, and I know I'll do it and it will be fine, but I want to get the eff out now. That is all.
4/7/09
85:
This was a while ago now, but I wanted to share. This was about the worst it got. Not painful, but still not pleasant. This is 10 days after the donation.
4/1/09
83:
So. I'm sure you have all been privy to one of my laundry rants. I believe that it is a human right to have laundry machines in one's home. Pushing an old lady cart to a coin-op is animalistic. I look forward to the day when I will again join the ranks of the living; with a washer and dryer of my own.
Doing laundry is part of my job. I don't mind the sorting part, the washing part, or even the folding part. The part I don't like so much is the part where I have to pull all the clothes right side out. Why children must always remove their clothes inside out will forever anger me.
I understand that I am irrational when it comes to some things. Especially laundry.
I'm a Laundry Nazi.
3/31/09
85:
Welcome to the end of March 2009. Nothing particularly special about today, other than the fact that I totally can't believe April begins tomorrow. Seriously, time is FLYING!
I began a new schedule this week. Instead of slumping into the office at 8:30 (ish) and staying until 5 (ish), I will now be 9AM to 6PM. At least for a while. Until we sort out the new responsibilities for a partnership we've started with another nation-wide trucking company. We got pegged as the primary contact for most of the East Coast and much of the Mid-West. So I get to wait around until Chicago, Milwaukee, Indianapolis, and other such places end their day.
I'm pretty okay with this. Any additional sleep time is always appreciated. And I think it'll work out so I don't have to stay until 6 every night.
I'm very excited to begin my nightly bike rides again. I haven't been all too diligent with it since about Thanksgiving. The nights got too dark too early, and in the past few weeks (before the Daylight Saving change) it was still too dark to bike when I got home. And this last week has been rainy and just generally wet every afternoon/evening.
I think Saturday is going to be an afternoon on the sand, trying to recover some skin coloring. If you hear reports of satellites being knocked out of orbit, it'll be from the extreme whiteness of my body laying out. Just so you're prepared.
3/24/09
85:
I went on my very first Business Trip. I feel like such a responsible professional adult. The Big Boss set me up at this 4-Star hotel in Miami. It was way up by the airport, but as the training sessions were held at another airport hotel I'm not complaining. But you can totally tell this was a PriceLine room. Oh, it was clean enough. It was just very clear that this room/floor had not seen a remodel or upgrade in a good long while. And I couldn't really watch TV. Because the TV emitted a very loud buzzing sound at all times when turned on. And I couldn't find the remote. I looked everywhere. I even tried to call the front desk, but that didn't work out. The phone rang and rang and rang. At least it did when I wasn't automatically disconnected before the second ring could end. Whatever. I wasn't paying for it and I was comfortable enough. But next time I do Miami I won't be doing it alone. That was a lame ass experience. I don't like Miami at all. Not yet.
3/22/09
73:
I made individual fruit pizzas for the book club held at my house on Friday. (Glass Castle, btw.) They were much complimented and quite delicious to my own mouth. However......sugar cookie, cream cheese with sugar, and delicious fruits including strawberries tend to make my mouth a bit sore. If this happened to my hands, arms, or other skin I would just use lotion -- problem solved. Eliminating strawberries and sugars doesn't seem like a pleasant option. (Although I suppose they need not be consumed simultaneously.) I remember Mom loving to eat tomatoes with salt, but hating the way it made her tongue so raw. Isn't there just some sort of tongue lotion?
3-18-09
83:
So. Life is pretty sweet. I summah in the Hamptons. And now, I spring break in Vail. My tastes are getting very expensive.
3/17/09
85:
You ever wonder what happens when you have a bad needle-stick when donating blood? Well, this is what happens. Last weekend I had a relatively bad time donating platelets. The actual donation was fine. My arm felt a bit tighter than usual, but hey, when you have a needle stuck in your elbow you can't really expect to be totally comfortable. We figure it was made worse by the fact that I wasn't eating Tums throughout the whole thing, as I usually do to keep my calcium up. Without enough calcium in my body to cancel out the anti-coagulant my muscles started cramping, especially my bicep. I didn't notice the bruising until Sunday evening. By Monday it was pretty ugly. This morning my boss asked "What the hell happened to you?!?" Now everything is a bit more blue/yellow than the purple of yesterday. I hope it's gone by Monday; I have a training seminar in Miami and I don't really think I'll feel like long sleeves.
So. Same old, same old. Get home and promptly blow my nose. This time I also farted really loud.
3/10/09
85:
I really enjoyed my weekend with the girls up in NYC. It was quite an adventurous time, and completely worth the 4am wakeup on Saturday. The return trip was a study in Just-In-Time arrivals. No thanks to the Subway. I have appreciation for what the Subway allows, but I hate it. I've always thought I was good with traveling, directions, and interpreting signs. But the Subway is governed by some mysterious dialect that is purposely vague to only be interpreted by the natives. I hate feeling so clueless. But now I'm back home. And I love the feeling of being home.
3/5/09
78:
Unfortunate that Sandler is involved but I think this movie will be worth enduring him. Apatow is a riot! Can't wait.
3-3-09
83:
JUSTICE
3/3/08
85:
Nothing profound. Just a group I heard on the radio today.
3/1/09
73:
Our baby today: about 28.5 week. Here's a link to a fun little picture calendar based on fruits and veggies to show about how big the baby is week by week. Wednesdays are our day to move to the next week so on the 3rd we'll be at 29 weeks.
Click image to link to http://www.babycenter.com/slideshow-baby-size.
2/26/09
78:
What's that smell?
Oh, Cheryl shat the bed.
2-25-09
83:
So. A man with a tiny penis was cruisin' 79th St. He may have thought he looked fancy in his hideous contraption. He did not. Especially when he couldn't get it in gear. He was grinding the gears for a good 6 minutes. During this time, I just stood there and enjoyed the show. After many other drivers angrily honked and drove around him, he called someone. Hopefully it was someone who can drive.
2/24/09
85:
Is it really that hard to empty the lint trap? Ever? I know that I do both BEFORE and after I dry my laundry. Because I have to. Because my neighbor doesn't seem to even know the lint trap exists.
2/20/09
88:
Sometimes when I'm in school on my way to class I let little farts pop out as I walk. Ok, usually. BoyfriendS calls it "cropdusting".
Note: In my last post I mentioned that I miss boyfriend88. I meant boyfriendS. For all intensive purposes "Boyfriend88" is whatever boy I happen to be dating at the time. Looks like BoyfriendS will probably be Mr88 in the coming years. Hopefully.
2/19/09
78:
Can't wait!
2-18-09
83:
"I want to go to there."
2/16/2009
75 :
2/13/09
88:
The word is "anyway".
NOT"anyways".
2/12/09
78:
SICKOUT! VOMIT! DISGUSTOID! WRETCHED! RANCID! TAKE A DAMN SHOWER BEFORE GETTING ON A RUSH HOUR SUBWAY TRAIN, NEW YORKERS! YOUR VILE STINK AND GREASY, NON-WASHED HAIR, NON TOOTHBRUSHED MOUTHS, STILL HAVE SLEEP IN YOUR EYES RANCIDITY IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. ALSO, USE SOAP ON YOUR FACES, UNDER YOUR ARMS, ALL OVER AND THROUGHOUT YOUR PRIVATE PARTS! WASH YOUR WHOLE BODY! GET SOME CREAMS OR OINTMENTS OR WHATEVER YOU NEED TO COMBAT THE STENCHES THAT ARE COMING FROM YOUR CROTCHAL AREAS AND WAFTING THROUGH THE TRAIN CAR. WHEN WE HAVE TO BE CRAMMED LIKE SARDINES (WHICH, BY THE WAY SMELL BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!), DO NOT BREATH WITH YOUR OPEN MOUTH. DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE! IT WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE THE WAFTING OF YOUR NOXIOUS FUMES.
AFTER THIS MORNING'S COMMUTE, I CAN ONLY CALM MYSELF BY KNOWING THAT MY DAYS HERE ARE NUMBERED. PEOPLE, THIS ISN'T EUROPE!
WASH. YOUR. ENTIRE. BODY. WITH SOAP! EVERY DAY!
2/10/09
85:
Nothing much worth posting about this week.
Oh, I did do all the work on the dock this week: receiving/logging/wrapping pallets.
So that's something, I guess.
.......okay then.
2/9/2009
75 :
2/5/09
78:
Watch Out World!
Do NOT knock on The Miami Prophet's door unless you want to be met by a 5'1" badass.
2/3/09
85:
It's been a tad foggy recently.
2/2/2009
75 :
Perfect Town is letting me down.
2/1/09
73:
We went to Penang Malaysia for Chinese New Year. We are so lucky to have such good travelers for our kids. Danny and Thomas understand that flights are sometimes long (this trip took two flights -- Beijing to Kuala Lampur was 4 or 6 hours, I can't remember, and KL to Penang was only about 1 hour.) I try to have a new book and/or toy for each of them and they each carry their own small backpack complete with snacks that they don't discover until boarding the plane. They keep themselves fairly entertained and are pretty good about minding their fellow passengers. Ichobod, on the other hand.... MAN!! He is still a fairly happy kid, but doesn't understand yet about being quiet and patient. Could be MUCH worse. When we visited the states last summer I didn't worry about getting a seat that was airline bassinet compatible since they're only supposedly big enough to hold 0-6 month old babies. Yeah ... like our six month old would have enough room in that! This trip (with a 13 month old) the flight attendant asked if we wanted the bassinet. "No thanks ... I think he's probably too big." I responded. She offered to set it up anyway ... can't hurt to try.... and what a great deal! We didn't have to hold our sleeping lap child. It was a tight fit, but he had enough room to stretch out corner to corner in his own space thus giving his parents the opportunity to arrive without circulation-free limbs. Hooray for Air Malaysia or whoever we were flying.Anyway -- Malaysia was nice. Mr. 73 was AMAZING! Beginning sometime during the Beijing-KualaLampur flight I started to feel just a tiny bit ill. Hmmm, must just be flying pregnant. Nope—it only got worse after more time and a winding island’s edge road to the hotel at 1am.(Poor 78 on those HearstCastle roads!) Our entire first day I spent in the hotel room sick and then recovering. Mr. 73 took all three boys to breakfast, the beach, lunch, the pool, dinner, and everything in between. I know that moms do this all the time, but it was so nice that he didn't try to talk me out of being sick --- he just did it. Thomas fell asleep at the table each of the three nights we were there for dinner so that first night when I was home in the room one of the waiters carried Ichobod back up while Mr. 73 carried Thomas. Such a second child ... if he's tired he just goes to sleep. Enough with all you staying-up late crazies!!!Anyway ... we had a good time and were able to return to Beijing with a few days to enjoy our own space before school and work started again. Here are two of my favorite pics from the trip. One of Thomas on the beach and one taken by Thomas.
1/29/09
78:
LA?
NY?
???
1/26/2009
75 :
How I feel..
How I want to feel...
1/22/09
78:
QUADRIYAH.
Me thinks that her mother had an ignorant passion for geometry.
1/21/09
83:
So. Was coloring with the kids and their parents were both there. We were all just relaxing and enjoying life. Out of the blue, their dad just said, "We've got the best nanny in the world." I just said Thanks and took it.
1/20/09
88 :
No, I did not eat your avocado. I ate MY avocado. What's the big deal? You are an adult. Go buy another avocado. They're approximately 73 cents. You shouldn't have to buy another avocado though because that avocado was not yours. Grow up and stop accusing me of eating all your food. Also maybe you should stop using my milk so obviously if you're worried about it. That's right, I do have a brain and a filter, which is why I haven't called YOU while you were at work to tell you about the milk situation.
Ugh, roommates. Especially "Ugh" when they're an obnoxious granola "look at me, I'd never drink a root beer in my life!" roommate.
Makes me want to vomit. On her. I'll tell her "it's organic."
1/20/09
85:
2009 has been pretty kick-ass so far. This just makes it oh so much sweeter.
1/19/2009
75 :
Um, about my resolutions....
Some are still in the far reaches of civilization, but some are close to and recognize the government of the land of success. Overall I have a C. Maybe a C plus. It's a D. Minus.
1/18/09
73:
So - I think that I've seen a glimmer of hope for at least one aspect of trying raise people into functional adults. I've read in a few different places that once kids are two they should be getting the same fat from milk that adults do. You know --- they need the whole milk at age one when they get cut off of breastmilk (or formula), but once they hit two the additional fat is just fat, not brain construction material. So, once my kids hit two (or close to it) I get a gallon or so of 2% then maybe the same of 1% if they're having a rough time, then its skim for life.
Currently at our house we have both whole milk (with a red cap) and skim milk (with a light blue cap) and Ichobod is the only one who drinks the red milk so we usually just call it "Ichobod milk." There wasn't any blue cap skim at the store the other day and I knew that not only did I not want to add thicker than glue to my cereal, but that I would probably be met with resistance if I tried to serve it to anyone else ... except Thomas .... add chocolate and strawberry powder and he'll drink just about anything. Anyway -- I bought the hot pink capped stuff figuring it is either 1 or 2%. Danny wouldn't have anything to do with it. He asked if I could PLEASE buy "big boy" milk at the next opportunity.
Hooray!!! That's one person who won't have to convert to blue tinted water as an adult!!
1/16/09
88
Why does everyone think I'm being ridiculous when I mention that the laundry that's been sitting in the washer for 5 hours smells mildew-y and needs to be washed again? The mildew is real! Real, I say!
This is only one example of a mildew problem. Today I poured myself a bowl of Strawberry Cereal Deliciousness and started chowin' down. I began to notice something funny. I sniffed around and found out it was my bowl that had been washed poorly. Holy cow, I couldn't go on. I actually gagged and onlookers told me they couldn't smell it. WHAT?!?!?! Can't smell it?!?!?
I will say it again, MILDEW IS REAL!
Roommates foot odor is a terrible sour mildew smell. Vomit. I've gotten to the point where I have to just be a jerk and say, "Yo! You have GOT to wash your feet if you want to sit on my couch." Of course no one else can smell it, so, I am the crazy one, as usual.
Must I say it again? Mildew is REAL.
01/15/09
78:
Humans.
Love it.
1/14/09
83:
So. The excape tally has been resurrected. Due to an amazazing episode of Bonnie Hunt's new talk show. The quest to document the usage of this wonderosity is back on.
1/13/09
85:
Today I am without makeup. I realized as I was pulling out of the driveway. I hope we don't have any visitors in the office today.
1/12/2009
75:
AHEM. It appears (based on this photographic evidence) that where seahorses are concerned, I have previously STUDIED EXTENSIVELY.
In other words, "I done been knowin' 'bout seahorses for 28 years."
1/11/09
73:
Was I recently posting about our lucky lack of childhood injuries? Still pretty lucky, but Danny had his first bloody nose last night. He was angry with us because we wanted him to sit at the dinner table with everyone (as opposed to lazing around the couch while the rest of us ate food) and in a fit of who knows what somehow banged his face into his knee. Shocking enough for him, but then his nose started spouting and he was even MORE surprised. Luckily Mr. 73 had just arrived home and was able to get him, kleenex and paper towel encrusted, to the bathroom where they got things sufficiently stopped up while I cleaned up the drips. It did make me wonder at all those shows (like CSI) where they find a little drop of blood that's been cleaned up with bleach and it leads them to the guilty party. Haven't any of those people ever had a six-year-old? What about an accident with a kitchen knife or Burger King glass? Anyone ever drop a bowl, clean up all the shards, then find out - with the bottom of their foot - that they had missed a piece? Well, when CSI visits our house they'll find a blood trail and all sorts of spatter around the downstairs toilet. (Why they didn't drip into the sink which would have been a shorter drop and easier target I'll never know.) They'll know that we're guilty of some hideous crime because the first thing I went for after cleaning up the visible stuff was the bleach wipes.
1/9/09
88
On the freeway headed south around 5pm:
Thought: 'Whoa! The moon is RED! Holy Bajeezus!'
Out loud ALONE in the car 7 seconds later: "......that's the sun."
I am the smartist gurl evur.
1/08/09
78:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO 75!
I think this Seahorse theme is appropriate for today, particularly considering 75's history with "Dance & Twirl" back in the day. Do you guys remember that outfit?
"I have studied Seahorses EXTENSIVELY."
...and now, so have you.
1/07/09
83:
Just a couple a Bitches hangin' out in the Cracker Barrel parking lot.
1/6/09
85:
Any questions about my childishness and gullibility are answered by clicking the guinea pig.
1/5/2009
75:
Resolutions for 2009
Exercise regularly -this means at least 3 formal exercise sessions per week.
Eat healthfully - In addition to normal healthy eating that everybody knows about and I have chosen to mostly ignore this means at least one vegetarian dinner per week through June, then at lest 2 vegetarian dinners per week.
Walk -whenever weather and safety permit (I pretty much do this now. This will cause positive affirmation and feelings of success and serenity when I engage in the goal, Become a consistent early riser, as described below.)
Plant a kitchen garden -also, keep it alive.
Become a consistent early riser- use the quiet in the morning for reflection, deep thought (a la Jack Handy), and doing nothing.
Get my knee fixed - get my knee fixed.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
1/4/09
73:
My man had New Year's Day and January 2 off. But not really. China seems to do a lot of non-voluntary flex-time type holiday scheduling. So --- his office was closed on January 2, you couldn't even really go in if you wanted to ... but since it isn't really a holiday they all had to work today instead. That's right, come in to work on Sunday, folks. After all - you owe us a day. Nice that he was able to still go to church with us in the morning. BTW - everyone there was supposed to make an extra effort to keep the kids quiet since it was a work day for most of the businesses in the building. Also - it took forever to get an elevator since there's no real queuing up, just a press for the elevator when it opens, loading until the buzzer starts (usually two people had to get off before the doors would close), then more stops than usual on the way up and down. Thank goodness we meet on the fourth floor, not the twenty-fourth. Danny was a little worried on the way up since he couldn't tell if his family was all on ... tall for a six-year-old still means that you're only tall enough to see the Chinese belts pressed in around you. Anyway, we dropped Mr. off at his office after church and the little boys and I spent a fairly quiet Sunday afternoon. Dad was home by 6:30 (maybe it was even 6:00 --- practically a holiday right there!) and we were able to have french toast dinner all together and get all littles tucked in by 8:15. School starts tomorrow for Danny. Tuesday for Thomas. Hope you've all enjoyed your holiday --- the only thing that could have made ours better would have been seeing all of you. (Sappy, but true)
1/1/09
78:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Let us commence our third year of sicsisters!
12/29/2008
75 :
I bet all the cool kids ride this bus.
12/28/08
73:
Big Butterfly migration expected May 20 in Beijing. (But the winds on which they arrive usually make their arrival about a week later than expected.) We're looking forward to seeing some different colors and behavior patterns than seen in previous migrations.
12/25/08
78:
Happy Christmas and other Holiday Celebration time.
12/23/08
85:
Dude!?! Is she calling me an asshole?
I think Plan B's marketing people get a big 'ol FAIL on this one.
Women's long-drive champion Lana Lawless used to be a SWAT officer. She also used to be a man. (Courtesy of Banggolf / Special to FOXSports.com)
12/18/08
78:
Really, Fox Sports? Really?
I love it when mayjah information is just nonchalantly thrown in, almost as an afterthought, as the caption adjacent to photos.
12/20/08
73:
Went ice skating with Danny the other day. He had a session or two of lessons from parks and rec before we made the big move, but has, apparently, forgotten everything he used to be able to do. I must remember that he is only six and will (hopefully) at some point find some activity ... other than legos and Wii ... that he enjoys and is great at. The ice rink is in our clubhouse ... only about $4 or $4.50 (depending on exchange rate) per visit. I always feel like that's too much, but really isn't too bad. We were there with a bunch of friends and I am always a little surprised to learn that not all of the moms can skate at least as well as I can. In fact, I'm one of the faster and more stable adults on the ice. I'm not any good and have never had a lesson in my life, but it got me wondering "what's the deal?" Then it dawned on me.... our hometown actually rocked in little tiny, hometowny kinds of ways. Like flooding the t-ball diamond every winter. We could just walk a block to the park and skate pretty much anytime we wanted. It wasn't so deep that you had to have your dad check to see if the ice was safe. It didn't even have to be completely frozen ... remember that back corner where the water pipe came it? Sometimes there would be rushing water over there, but we could skate all over the rest of the pond. Occasionally there was rough ice from when the snowplow left deep tire impressions. I don't remember if we were miffed that they marred the ice or just thought that it was great that we didn't have to take the snow shovels that day. Remember Laura Green's family who lived right across the street from that park? They were the ones who had scads of different sized ice skates hanging in their hallway. If you didn't have your own you could just invite Laura to skate and then try on all the hallway skates until you found a pair that fit well enough. So - that's why I can skate. No triple lutzes or spins, but I can win the mom race because of a frozen t-ball diamond where you could race the neighborhood kids. Kind of makes me want to live someplace with reasonably cold winters. Reasonable means that ice skating is free.
12/17/08
83:
So. Abnormal Psych is a fun and actually interesting class. Am glad the semester is winding down, but will miss this one. However. I will not miss Kevin. He has a comment for every topic. Dude. Shut up. What you say is Really Boring.
12/16/08
85:
Damn right you're jealous of my mad kitchen skillz.
12/12/08
88:
I am sick. It is miserable. I have a virus. My mouth is confused, thinking it needs to spew vomit after I cough. My nostrils are never the same amount of full/dry. One hurts, one is full. Nose is chaffed even with lotion tissue. Cottonmouth.
The show must go on. Life is good aside from that.
12/11/08
78:
What?
Beef Curtains?
I guess now any deli worker can become a plastic surgeon.
Mmmmm...Chinese food. The bloat is worth it. 78 and I have sort of gotten over the chinese delivery. It lasted quite a long time. Sure. We'll probably order a good many more times from our fave 'Happy Garden/Happy Tortilla' before our exodus to the west coast, but for now, we're over it. There is but one issue. Every time we hear the door buzzer for our downstairs neighbors, we start salivating. It's very Pavlovian.
12/9/08
85:
I'm Fiona. Welcome to your party!
Oh, and have a gander at my Christmas cheer while you're at it.
Essentials for any celebratory spectacle.
Just the lights.
Tiny Angel and all. Ta Daaaaa!
12/5/08
88:
Decisions, decisions. I have approximately 3 weeks to decided on Pittsburgh. I really don't know. My gut feeling honestly has been to stay here. I don't know why. I love the baby so much but I know we'll be in touch on a regular basis. I have completed an application for an agency in Phoenix (just in case...and whatever anyone says, I really don't know that I want to give up yet on that...and he doesn't either so we'll see) and have told Current Agency that I will need to start getting interviews in SLC planned around February. (Different agency was suggested by current agency so I don't feel quite so disloyal, it still makes me a little squeamish, but gotta do what I gotta do).
Also, I took my roommate to the Urgent Care place night before last (she had tightness and pain when she breathed...turned out to be a kidney infection!). Anyway, there was a HE/SHE sitting across from us in the waiting room. It looked like a really butch woman, but then she spoke and I thought, "NOPE. That's just a straight-up man". We couldn't figure it out though and we were really wondering what it's story was. I'd still like to know, but what can I do?
Well, Baby is walking now! He is also VERY emotional about his food, which cracks me up.
Purple Panther Perfection!
12/4/08
78:
OH! TIDY.
12/3/08
83:
Ok ladies. We all have them. PPs. Period Pants. Those luscious coverings for that special time of the month when we leak what vampires crave. Hidden in the bowels of our underwear drawers these comfy body hugging GIANTS lurk. During the day, thanks to liners, we can lead a somewhat human existence whilst wearing cute underthings. However, for those fat-dogging times and/or sleeping when a 1976 era hospital size PAD is in use, mayjah coverage is required. I've been weeding out some of the truly tainted ones as the months go by. It is bittersweet. I've spent many a night comfortably luxuriating in the massive tent fabric that is the granny panty.
