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11/12/07 (Thank a Veteran Today)
THE DEALIO ON THE GLASS CASTLE
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73:
So - I've been trying to gather my thoughts on this book into some form of book club discussion and I think that it may take me a little while to get used to the whole deal. I've just begun attending my first book club ever since school started this fall and I've enjoyed hearing the different opinions and directions that the discussion takes. To just write up a review without the benefit of immediate responses, input, opinions, tangents will be a totally different direction. Its been a long time since I read this book, over a year I'm pretty sure, and I think that I passed it on to either 75 or 78 from there so this "review" bit is mostly just overall impression remembering. I can't remember any of the names, etc. Sorry
So - I remember while reading that the parents were so totally screwed up. More than lots of screwed up parents, but almost luckily so because it made the screwiness so obvious ... not just something that outsiders would attribute to the children's' imaginations. However - I thought that the author did a good job of conveying the reality of the situation from inside. Her parents were real people who made their own real decisions. They weren't just along for the ride, they chose the vehicle, track, speed, etc. They made choices that they wanted and I can't remember, but it seemed at the time that their choices were either with disregard to the likely outcome or with complete delusion as to the likelihood of certain consequences. There are artistic minds out there that belong to people who make millions, but if you're not even going to break even it seems that you would follow a different path. Not so for these parents. Near the end of the book it was so interesting to be able to see the parents' decision to be homeless as a real choice. They preferred it. They embraced it. They fed it. They looked down upon those who thought that the homeless decision was ludicrous just as those who thought that the decision to be homeless looked down upon them. Being on the with-home side myself I most definitely take the better-to-be-with-earned-shelter side of the fence; however, I was able to look at the other side in a new light. To understand a bit more, and even respect a little more while still not feeling it to be the best solution ... for anyone. But to accept that as MY opinion, not the only opinion. The children were in such a tough spot. I think that the parents knew this, but valued their own identities and their children's' more as equals rather than as the more traditional nurturer and nurtured. Once the kids were able to fend for themselves, in any way, they seemed pretty much required to do so.
Not the relationship that I want to have with my kids, but an example of one family's life. My kids will grow up and choose their own paths ... they've already started in their own two and four year old ways ... and I need to respect those choices just as I hope that they will respect the choices that I made in raising them and will continue to make both as my own person and as their mother. The author had cherished childhood memories. Joyful memories. Things that she learned from both of her parents, not only things to avoid, but things that she would carry on. I can only hope (and act to make my hoping worthwhile) that my own kids will have an many happy, character building experiences. That they won't have to balance these with nearly the number of hideous moments of uncertainty, trauma, drama, and too-early or inappropriately thrust upon them self-sufficiency. That they grow up to be happy, fulfilled and valuable to themselves and others. That I am able to give them the tools that they need to accomplish the lives that they want.
75 :
It's been a long time since I read The Glass Castle. 73 gave it to me and told me she thought I would love it, and boy did I! I was flabbergasted by the neglect of the parents. As I read further I identified with many of the feelings associated with that neglect. Although our childhoods were less traumatic in many ways I distinctly remember and can still feel what I experienced as neglect. We were fortunate to have a network of safety nets (some within our siblinghood) that served as exemplars of successful lifestyle. The kids in The Glass Castle didn't have that. The main character had to find within herself a model life for which to strive. At one point in the story the family is living in a falling-apart ramshackle hut of a house. Their mom sits in a filthy living room surrounded by books. She read those books with her entire being and the reality of her families living conditions disappeared from view for her. One of the brothers slept in a room that had lost so much structural integrity that the walls had caved-in and outside was visible and tarps were used to keep out rain etc. All this while a parent disconnected. Her disconnection was a survival instinct, but survival for one only. Even as babes the kids in that family had to fend for themselves or depend on siblings. I don't think it even occurred to the parents that THEY WERE THE PARENTS. OLDER SIBLINGS ARE NOT PART OF THE PARENTING TEAM!! If those parents had witnessed this type of "parenting" from the outside I think they would have negatively judged others, but did not look for- and wouldn't have recognized if they had- it in themselves. This rings true with my own experience through childhood. Those parents ultimately chose to live as they did. Although highly intelligent in many forms, they were mentally ill. They lost at the game of playing grown-up. That goes unrecognized a lot.There were times while reading this book that I became so irate I had to put it down and leave it for a few days. It is however, one of the most articulate and valued books I have read, and I think that no matter how many more books I read in my next 68 years , it will remain so.
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78:
Big ups to 73 for bringing to us THE GLASS CASTLE last year. As it really has been a year since I've read this book my review is just a small bit of the impression it left on me. The similarities between the intelligent adults with the laissez faire parenting style (read: neglect), mental illnesses, the attempting to make pathetic things into adventures...LOOMIX or 40 year old food-storage hot barley before school anyone? and the detached/removed (great survival skills) telling of her own childhood were all extremely satisfying and validating to read. Albeit heinous. As each of the insane stories unfolded I found myself being able to relate, if only to a small extent, to most of the situations. Not because we suffered by any means from the same type of neglect and hardships per se, but rather the overwhelming and exhausting innate drive to play one's part in 'the big show'. Our experience was Disneylandesque compared to the Glass Castle. No matter the scale of the facade however, the big show was a debilitating yet necessary friend that I couldn't have survived without. I really could have just written 'the big show' and you'd all have known more or less my review. I loved this tragic story because she not only 'gets' what it's like to be an unwilling but unavoidable player in the big show...she wrote the book.
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| 83:
The Glass Castle. Brought back many memories.
Jeannette's memories:
Chasing the coal truck on delivery days for chunks of the 'black gold' in order to keep from freezing to death in the winter.
No running water.
No food in the house except butter (margarine) and white sugar.
Family road trips getting away from creditors.
My memories:
Huddled under a furry cat blanket tucked tightly around the seams of a furnace vent to keep from getting frostbite in the arctic tundra that we called home.
No running water. (x-mas 95)
No food in the house except what was left in the storeroom from previous tenants. (sugar cubes and dry pasta)
Family road trips. Creditors.
There are many more similarities in the book. Many things that are not so similar as well.
Jeannette Walls had a very difficult childhood. She wasn't actually able to be a child.
Like us.
We didn't have it as severe as she did, but we had it in our own way.
85:
The Glass Castle:
I only read about the first third of the book last fall. It was a bit tedious. I found myself wanting to grab the characters and shake them violently. I really didn't like it. But I'll grab the book when I get the chance and do a more thorough reading.
88:
Honestly, ladies, I am not more than halfway through The Glass Castle. It's kind of boring to me, perhaps because I'm young, but it really just did not grip me. I did notice some similarities though, such as; when she talked about not knowing when they'd have food. I remember many times when corn flakes would be the only edible food item in the house and that sucked a big fat hairy one. Mostly though, just the way the parents always acted like everything was fine and that they'd "make do" and "get by". Mom and dad pretty much tried to make everything seem ok even though we all knew better. I've started on The Doctor's Wife and I'm getting pretty into it.
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01/01/07
73: 2007 is a year with a lot unknowns for me. Will we move? Will we have another baby? If we move (overseas) and have a baby will we live in a place where drugs are available? Come on ladies, you all know what kind of drugs I'm talking about. Like I just said to Mr.73, " I need to know these things, pre-school signup starts in two weeks."
75: 2007 is looking good. I'm in a new town. I love it here. My plans for 2007 include laying the groundwork for becoming the Queen of this town. I am inspired by the reign of Mr.75's mom who has benevolently ruled her town for years. Somebody has to be in charge. Why not me?
78: 2007 is going to rock! I'm going to resign from my soul-sucking job and move on to greener pastures, which will include things like ethics and creativity. At least I'll pretend that those things still exist because I'll still have to work somewhere in order to pay for food and shelter. Also, I will continue to figure out how to play the guitar with 75 and we will go on to play folk festivals...after we discover someone who rents out time machines to take us back to when folk festivals were hip.
83: In 2007 I plan to take a bite out of crime(s) against humanity by distributing personal hygiene leaflets and product samples throughout the NYC subway. Soap; it does EVERY body good.
85: 2007 is up in the air. My job works well for me now but I may need something else to keep my sanity. School will be slow going. My major goal is to work up the courage to approach the love of my life. Something I have been avoiding the past 3 years. Reduce my credit card balance. Work on moving out of the parents' house...even though they followed me to college.
88: 2007 will be a refresher of my relationship with Boyfriend88. Start school and stand on my own feet. Endure my dirty, filthy roommate.
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